week one

the week before I began my cleanse, I took every liberty in my diet. as I look back, I went on an eating frenzy. I ate whatever I felt like and paid no attention to nutrition. I thought that since I would be "depriving" myself of good food for an extended period of time, I needed to live it up. I had stopped running the week before that so I could have enough energy to help my sister move into her home, keep up with my kids, and get our home organized and cleaned in case I had NO energy after the process began. the weekend before I began my cleanse was our anniversary and I was grateful to be able to have that night to celebrate with John. I spent as much time living in those moments of eating as I could possibly revel in. and I paid for it. when I stepped onto the scale come Monday morning I had added a few extra pounds.

I met with our "witch doctor" Elizabeth King the Monday of that week. Elizabeth is a native of South Africa and has a much different view of our picture of health than any doctor I have met. you can read all about her philosophies and get answers to questions on her web site, http://www.thecoloncleanse.com/ . her diagnosis of what my body needs was long and varied. some of the things she pinpointed, unhelped by me, were problems I had lived with since I was really young. I felt very enthusiastic and determined to get well after meeting with her.

Monday I had my first session of colon hydrotherapy and was given my veggie juice "prescription" - carrots, cilantro, dandelion leaves, kale, chard, celery, black radish, beets, and ginger. I officially became a juicer and I began taking a few other supplements to help cleanse and heal other digestive organs. from that point on I have had veggie juice for every meal. the first couple of days were hard due to hunger pains, I knew and expected that it would take my body time to adjust to not eating and digesting food. after the first two days I felt really encouraged, I didn't feel overly hungry my energy level had risen a little. I felt well rested and most surprising I didn't feel sick. I had heard people say that as they under went a cleanse they felt like they had the flu, drained and sick. gratefully I haven't felt like that so far. the juice is satisfying in that it really curbs the hunger and my energy level, although I wouldn't try to run a marathon, I am not running on empty at all.

my plan of action has been to avoid handling food as much as possible. this has worked to some degree, but I still have to be sure my kids are eating and I can only impose on my sister and mother in law so many times during the week to feed my kids lunch. John has been very good about getting them dinner, but regardless meal times are the hardest - watching people eat is not easy. I am surprised at how driven we are to put food into our mouths. and it isn't just a survival instinct - my temptations seem to be much more emotional.

my determination has been pretty good, I was positive about all of it up until probably Thursday night. it had become harder to suck down the juice, which is not the tastiest stuff in the world. and the monotony of eating the same thing for every meal has become really wearing. Friday was a very hard day; I broke down and cried a few times. first I cried to Elizabeth, who I know to be a tough cookie, her advice was to "just do it and get it done." then to John once as he comforted me in his arms, and then again as I laid on the floor ridiculously sobbing. looking at it now I believe my emotional energy was low, so therefore so was my physical energy, I was spent trying to get our home in order to have visitors. we were having friends over and I knew there would be treats and I felt so sorry for myself to need to abstain. I kept dwelling on it all day long, making it the focus of everything I was doing. surprisingly I made it without much trouble. I had my juice just before everyone to arrived, and as I watched them place treat after treat on my table I was completely in control. I felt good and not overly tempted, by the goodies. but I allowed my self indulged pity party to carry into Saturday, and that made it a hard day as well.

I am all too fixated on the fact that I can't eat, that seems to be what is bringing me down. the juice is filling enough, but not any ones idea of a tasty meal. Friday I felt I deserved a little reward for making it so far and had a little lemonade, it was not as satisfying as I expected, didn't even taste that good. to be honest I am just longing for more variety and the strength to sit and eat with my family. but my determination is intact - I only fear I have thrown a wrench in things because of my little reward! I feel a little low but I also feel pleased that I can count one week down. my hope this week is that it will go faster - that this will feel more normal and I won't be as consumed by the task of juicing and avoiding food. I began an additional candida cleanse on Friday and I am waiting to see how that changes how I am feeling - as problems try to resolve themselves they are brought to the surface, so I could begin to feel a lot worse.

I am learning a lot about our bodies ability to heal itself. and about the amazing amounts of nutrients we deprive ourselves as we eat our "western" diet. I am eager to learn more and to help improve the health of our girls by teaching them early what foods they need consume so they can avoid the problems John and I had developed. I want to share a little more on that, because that is one of the more exciting parts of this process - that by doing what I am doing I am creating a way to heal myself. what an amazing organism we live in.