the girls play nice for Chinese new year
at the beginning of this week I crawled into bed next to John and lamented over the day. our girls are screaming more than ever before and creating waves with each other over nothing at all. there is sibling unrest on a daily basis and my lament is that I fear they are mimicking me.
after an evening of angst, particularly with the littles, and a few remarks that I truly wish I hadn't uttered, John issued a challenge. NO MORE YELLING. I immediately knew he was right and I needed to take the bait. but I also felt this was going to be impossible. if you happen to know me in the flesh, you know I am naturally loud. yelling is how I am herd over the echo of the house. it is a habit so ingrained I don't even realize I do it. growing up in a family of six children, there was naturally a lot of yelling. and that has carried into my adult life, and worse my mothering. and what I am more ashamed to admit is that I throw fits. tantrums. unleash tornado's of aggression to get my own way. and all in the name of do as I say not as I do.
so you can imagine that with a great example like me, my kids are gems. but there is hope. after most of a week of me yelling less. (old habits die hard) I hear a noticeable difference. in me. it will take them longer to learn from a new example. it's nice to realize that when I talk in softer tones, I act in softer tones. not to be confused with being soft in the middle, mind you. but calling to them rather than yelling for them has made a difference. and with only three IOU's in the jar, that's not a bad for the first week.
there is a long road ahead, a long and bumpy road. but no road was more worth traveling.
some encouragement HERE.
6 comments:
Hey, we celebrated Chinese New Year too! Loads of fun. You know, I don't think of you as a yeller. I am, luckily my kids aren't. Good luck with your new goal-don't become too perfect now!
I love when time comes for us to work on things that will make an impact in our lives! You're an amazing mother!
For Lent I gave up Starbuck's hot chocolate and yelling at my kids (okay, and all spankings.) I have fallen off the wagon once on both accounts. That's okay. It makes a difference in how I feel about my parenting, which I hope makes a difference in my kids.
Love you! Stay strong and I'll try to as well.
I agree with Nikki, I can't see you yelling. Nonetheless, I think it's a great goal!
P.S. I'm making your veggie chili tonight, I'm excited! Brian and I are trying to be as vegetarian as we can be. We're like 80% there. We just seem to encounter meat wherever we go! I've been using the vegetarian section of allrecipes.com for ideas. They've got some good stuff!
I find myself yelling too often these days and the other day on the play yard threatened to spank Noelle in front of all of my gasping friends. I looked up from my scolding to say, "Yes, I do spank my children occasionally." One of my neighbors actually said,' We don't spank our children." None of us our perfect and I think that the only way we can overcome our imperfections is to continually set goals for ourselves. Thank you for sharing- your posts are always so real and inspiring. Keep in mind our offer to watch the girls for you guys to get out- we would always love to have them!
Oh man I think you typed this for me! I admit it I am a yeller. But since reading your post I have taken your challenge and so far I am happy to report great changes in our home! Thank you Amanda! It's amazing how much your children feed off you. Thanks again I always love your posts!
Post a Comment