way back in December a friend posted this on her blog. it is a very inspiring objective.
(click on the words to link to the website.)
I had intended to do what I can to become a sponsor or contributor and
it got lost in the shuffle of December.
I remembered it today as I was pondering what to do with one of our girls.
lately our oldest miss has been M.I.A. if you will.
the sweetness has flown the coop and we are left with all whine and no cheese.
with a large helping of sass and disrespect on the side.
I am at a loss for what to do, being new to this kind of territory.
and I am mourning for the sweet little friendship we once shared,
I can't say anything to her without a LOT of eye rolling or feet stomping.
where have I gone wrong?
I keep coming back to my own sour example of late and I am just sad.
and then I remembered this.
and if women around the world can affect such beautiful change,
that means our girl can make a difference in this world as well.
and if she can be the difference, then the adversary is also interested in
making her believe she can't. and he is so wrong.
so here is where I reach out to you for some advice and a little support.
how do we divert the downward spiral and dig up the sweet sister that is lurking
under this facade? so far talking at her hasn't made any difference, I need more substance
and I am not sure I am made of the stuff to deliver it. but I know many of you are.
so after we sit down together and watch the clips and learn about the girl effect together,
I am hoping she will desire to work to help others - that is a start I know.
but there has to be a lot more if I am going to save our friendship now - I don't want to
wait the five to ten years for my little friend to emerge again. my heart is hoping.
8 comments:
Loved this post! Truely inspiring! I wish I had some advice for you, but we are struggling with the same exact issue in this house. I'm going to have to keep checking here to see what advice you get.
Oh thanks, made me cry at work. :)
I am inspired by this post Amanda, and the only thoughts I have thinking back to being a young lady myself, is how important my big sis' were to me. Now, I'm not sure it is just a big sister - I mean it was sure lucky for me to have two wonderful examples ahead of me that to me did the coolest things - and I was also lucky enough to gain another sister, totally different from the others at the mere young age of 12. But as I was trying to say - I don't necessarily think it has to be a sister - but maybe a positive influence outside of Mom, I know this may be difficult to hear, but it was impactful to have someone outside the norm show me what was good and right when I wouldn't listen to Mom. And now of course I see how right Mom was, but then I wouldn't listen. Also, being around other young ladies when we were all doing good together, like Girl Scouts, was very positive for me, and then when she comes home and her cup has been filled with the good and the sweet she will share it with your family? Just some thoughts, not sure they are the answer, you’re her Mom so when it is right you will know. I am always happy to have some time with your sweet eldest daughter and have some one on one fun – that would be a great pleasure for me (maybe not for her though :)). Love you!
I watched a documentary about how women who are given small business loans in 3rd world countries really make good things happen! Funny thing is that they tried to do it with men and it failed miserably! Makes me smile to think how awesome GOD made women to be, we may not have the brawn but we sure have a lot of brains, pure strength (think of a 9 month pregnant women working her rice fields in China!) and determination!
But! All of these awesome things can also lend to us being stubborn and defiant at times :). I agree with Jessica's ideas but I would also add that she needs QUALITY one-on-one time with her DAD! I know John is an AWESOME dad so maybe he is already doing this, I don't know. Just thought I would mention it since it was discussed in my "Parent-Child relationship" class back in the day. Quality face time where it is just the two of them and lots of talking is occurring. Like the Daddy date nights that Aaron does with Haily.
First, Grace is awesome and you'll all be fine. Now then; advice. I have little. As our girls are growing I find we are on a sometimes daily roller coaster ride. A day comes when we have little female monsters for daughters, then another comes and they are so near perfect I'm afraid they'll ascend to the pearly gates right before my eyes. I think you are on the right track to introduce to Grace the truth that she can make a difference, but it is also important for her to KNOW that she is a special, worthwhile, beautiful-on-the-inside and out person. You can tell her. John should definitely tell her (and show her by spending his time with her, Jenny is right) and you need to get as many people in her life that can help her come to see who she is in the sight of god.
we for sure know how awesome Grace is. And how awesome you are too. Hang in there.
Wow Amanda, you have some great sisters. I'm assuming that's who just left that great advice. All things I knew but didn't realize was lacking in my daughters life. I guess I am not ready to not be the most influental person in her life. That hurts. Kind of hard to let go, and guide her to other good influences. So thanks Amanda and to all of her fellow bloggers!
Amanda,
Loved this post! Don't worry.... Grace and Sophie are upstairs! : )
No idea I read it!! I need to talk to you about a friend of our's. His name is Mohammed Yunus and he won the Nobel peace prize in 2006. He started a bank doing exactly this. The Grameen bank. I am so inspired by him and others like him.
In the mean time, we will get through this together, because I am in the same sinking ship.
I am so glad that you feel the same way about the girl effect.
It hit me like a ton of bricks when I first saw it.
And I am not sure that I am the best to give advice about where you are right now since my babies are just one...and boys. But I will say that you are a good person. And you care. It sounds small but these things are HUGE and with them you can do anything you put your mind to.
Such good advice from sisters and friends. the girl effect is incredible. We need to get on board with that.
As far as raising daughters goes...you really are a great mother. You sell yourself short and focus on your mistakes and not on your wonderful successes. Heavely Father sent these three beautiful and very different girls to you. He knew what he was doing. Have confidence and faith. Move forward with hope. Of course, Search and find ways to improve your self and improve your relationships too.
You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. You sell yourself short. Relax and enjoy the journey. Remember your family motto...it applies to you as well as the girls!
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